Ten Musical Suggestions

By Amy McCormick

This five game losing streak is a depressing slump for Phillies fans.  Maybe it’s time to change some of the players’ intro songs in order to get their mojo back.  Here are ten of my suggestions. 

1. Jimmy Rollins.  Jimmy has three at-bat songs, apparently; they are “Bright Lights, Bigger City” by Cee-lo Green, “Play Your Part” by Wale, and “The Show Goes On” by Lupo Fiasco.  They’re all decent choices, but I would love to hear J-Roll come out to “Rollout” by Ludacris.  I think the reasoning behind my choice is obvious.
2. Placido Polanco.  Polly left the club years ago, and returned as a third baseman.  He came back with outstanding range of motion, instincts, and batting.  For my favorite large-headed infielder, I’d choose “Look at Me Now” by Lil Boosie and Big Head. (His current song is “I Know You Want Me” by Pitbull.)
3. Shane Victorino.  It bothers me every single time I hear “Buffalo Soldier” played at Citizens Bank Park, and for one reason: Vic is Hawaiin.  “Buffalo Soldier” is performed by Bob Marley … from Jamaica.  It’s not even the same ocean, people.  I’m a sucker for “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” by Israel Kamakawiwo’ole. I know it’s kind of mellow, but so is “Buffalo Soldier.”
4. Hunter Pence.  I was so tempted to pick something from New Kids on the Block, but I resisted.  When I think of Pence, I think of three things: “Good game, let’s go eat,” a huge kid-in-a-candy-store grin, and red socks that look as though they’re probably tucked into his underwear.  I love the high socks, so I went with “Taylor Gang” by Wiz Khalifa. 
5. Ryan Madson.  Can we discuss the Journey song, please? From my understanding, it started as a joke, in reference to the headache-inducing YouTube video that Giants fans made last year.  Joke’s over.  Now you just look like a pansy running from the bullpen to a Journey song.  I’d quickly change it to “Shut ‘Em Down” by Public Enemy.
6. Carlos Ruiz.  Chooch has a case of Ryan Madsonitis when it comes to song choice.  Phil Collins? Really?  I’d get rid of that in a hurry.  I’d rather hear Ruiz come out to “Panama” by Van Halen … because he’s from Panama.  See what I did there?
7. Cole Hamels.  I couldn’t think of any songs about having dreamy dimples, so I think he should come out to 45,000 fans singing “Cole and Amy sittin’ in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g …”.  His AC/DC song, “Thunderstruck,” is fine, too … I guess.
8. John Mayberry, Jr.  Follow me on this one.  Out of laziness/cuteness, I have always called Mayberry “JMJ.” I started to refer to him as “Jam Master Jay” because that’s what my friend James calls him.  That nickname is the reason I’d choose “My Adidas” by Run DMC for John Mayberry, Jr.
9. Pete Orr.  I know we rarely see Orr bat, but I’m a big fan of watching him sprint to first.  I’d love to hear the vintage version of the theme to “Speed Racer” when he is up to bat.
10. Michael Schwimer.  I think it would be appropriate to hear “Creep” by Radiohead when Schwimer runs out to the mound, for one reason: the lyric “I don’t belong here.” Sorry, kid.

I don’t know what it will take to snap this funk that the Phils are in.  Maybe hiring me as Musical Director at Citizens Bank Park would help.  I’m available to start immediately.



Cole Hamels is pictured in this post because, well, I get to choose what goes here.