I Should Be Charlie's Sub For a Day

By Amy McCormick

Eight.  Eight games.  Right down the toilet.  It hurts to think about, and it’s painful to see it in black and white on my laptop screen.  I suppose the insult to injury is that 75% of those losses have been to the Nationals and the Mets.

People keep asking me, “Is it ok to start worrying now?” Listen, I’m not worried.  Coming from someone with an anxiety disorder, that speaks volumes.  The reason that I’m not worried is that I know that this team has the talent, ability and skill to pull this off.  They’ve plowed through this season owning MLB.  We should rename the month of June to “Cliff” and August to “Lee.”  We should all be wearing our socks above the knees.  We should have “Good game, let’s go eat” in the dictionary with the definition, “You just got your asses handed to you by the Phils.”  I fully believe and have total faith that this is the best team in baseball.  I would marry this team if I could. 

So, what’s my problem?  I’m pissed off.  I’m frustrated.  I’m dumbfounded.  Sure, these games are “meaningless,” as we all know.  That doesn’t mean we should roll into the postseason with zero momentum.  They’re better than this.  This is not a team that mails in eight consecutive games.  We’ve seen offensive slumps this season, but this is out of hand. 

I love Charlie Manuel, but I don’t know that his style of management is what we need this week.  We need someone with zero tolerance for sloppy, lazy performances.  We need someone who won’t hold back and get in these players faces.  We need someone like me.

I’d let them know that these past eight games have been depressing to watch, and they’re breaking my heart right now.  Why end a stellar season on such a sour note? The jam-packed September schedule? Not an excuse, fellas.  Everybody’s tired, and Mother Nature happens.  What it comes down to is you either play to your potential or you don’t.  Right now, I see a lot of talent being crapped on. 

Phillies, you’re better than this.  Please pull it together.  Doc takes the mound at 2:10 today, and while I trust that he can stop the bleeding, I want to see aggressive offense, too.  We fans need a win to lift our spirits just as much as you do. 

LOLMets

By Amy McCormick

We fans really needed to see the Phils destroy the Mets tonight, after the weekend we had.  What a bizarre weekend it was at CBP South!  Rain delays, two consecutive “starts” for Oswalt, and an uncharacteristic few days for the bullpen seemed to throw the Phils for a loop.  While I was impressed (relieved, excited, I could go on) by Oswalt’s outing on Saturday, it seems that his performance was the only highlight of the series.  Well, that and Schwimer’s debut.  Phils lost the series.  To the Nationals.  Seriously.  During the rain delay on Sunday, I joked that I would write a post titled “Mother Nature Interrupts Halladay Beating Wang; He’s Unable to Finish.” I was too depressed by the end of the game to even bother.

So, what’s a team to do after such a series? How do the Phils get their mojo back?  What’s a good pick-me-up for players and fans alike?

Beat up on the Mets.  Duh.

And did they ever.  Cliff Lee records his 14^th win of the season and the Phils are now 82-44.  We saw homers from Pence and Mayberry, a triple from Vic, and a double from Chooch.  Phils win, 10-0.  If it had been a Little League game, it would have been called after six innings.  There’s no mercy in the bigs, though … not even for the Mets.  Ricky Bo said after tonight’s game, “This is what the Phillies should have been doing to the Washington Nationals.” True.  One thing (of many) that I love about our team, though, is the ability to shake it off and put a bad game behind them.

We’ll see New York again tomorrow night at 7:05.  It just doesn’t get old for me.  LOLMets.

Phils Don't Sweep, But They Take Out the Trash

By Amy McCormick

Thursday, August 4^th began a four game series against the Giants in San Francisco.  Aside from the late start times, the series promised to be a good one.  Here’s a rundown of what happened.

Thursday.  Cliff Lee was matched up with Madison “My Parents Clearly Wanted a Girl” Bumgarner.  Lee pitched well; half of his eight strikeouts belonged to Cody Ross.  “That’s probably the best game I’ve had as far as commanding the ball,” Lee said.  “I was getting ahead of the hitters and staying away from the middle of the plate.  I felt like I could throw any pitch at any time to any location.” Can you ask anything more of a pitcher?  Phils took the first game with a score of 3-0, which is Lee’s fifth shutout of the season.  Hunter Pence and John Mayberry, Jr. had back-to-back homers in the 2^nd inning.  Bumgarner stated, “That second inning cost me I guess.  The way he [Lee] was throwing, he looked like he could throw about fourteen innings out there.” After the end of the game, of course, tragedy stuck not far from AT&T Park.  Ryan White, 9, of Yardley, had attended the game to cheer on the Phillies.  A drunken jerk of a Giants fan managed to mow White down with a car, putting him in critical condition.  Luckily, the suspect was caught not much later. 

Friday.  Wonder why fans in San Francisco act like reckless criminals? Well, the top of the sixth inning in Friday’s game is an indication of what the fanbase seems to aspire to.  Vance Worley and Jonathan Sanchez were the starting pitchers, and the Phils won 9-2; not a whole lot else matters, considering all anyone has been talking about is the brawl that ensued on the field.  In the top of the sixth, Ramon Ramirez quite obviously hit Shane Victorino in the back intentionally with a pitch.  When asked if he thought Ramirez hit him deliberately, Victorino said, “Yeah, absolutely, I think he did.”  Vic started toward the mound, which caused Giants’ catcher Eli Whiteside to jump around like a lunatic.  Placido Polanco came to back up Victorino, and Whiteside tackled him.  Benches cleared; teammates and coaches from both sides poured onto the field.  The bullpens emptied.  It was one of those fights you can’t wait to see again in the highlights after the game.  Bruce Bochy remarked, “It’s baseball and things happen fast.  Tempers flare.  It’s part of the game … it’s competition.  Things aren’t going well for us.  It happens and you deal with it … I thought it was fairly clean out there.” Um, I assume he was talking about the Phillies’ involvement, because the Giants instigated the brawl from the get-go.  The Phils merely reacted.  Whiteside, Ramirez, and Victorino were ejected.  Charlie defends Victorino, because his reaction was pretty appropriate.  Ramirez wasn’t pitching well and it looked as if he just wanted to nail a batter with a pitch.  The Giants’ lowly tactics couldn’t land them a win.

Saturday. Cole Hamels started for the Phils, and the Giants sent Matt Cain to the hill.  A lot of fans expected a repeat of the previous night’s fight.  Not only did we not see such action, the game didn’t last much more than two hours.  Phils won, 2-1.  Hamels said, “I was one out away from a shutout.” It was 2-0 going into the bottom of the ninth, but Pablo “I Shouldn’t Be Playing in This Game Because I Choked Chooch Last Night” Sandoval hit a two-out homer.  Bochy, when asked about the Giants’ lethargic offense, said, “You don’t win the World Series unless you can beat good pitching.  Right now, we’re not doing that.” Yeah, no kidding.  Even your fans agree.  Aubrey Huff, a fan favorite in San Francisco, was booed when he grounded out to Ryan Howard.  Like I said, the fans in San Francisco are suitable for their classless team.

Sunday. Today’s broadcast began with Tim Lincecum on the mound, the breeze flowing through his long (and disgusting) hair.  I hate to say it, but Lincecum pitched well.  He kept the Phils’ offense at one run; the Giants ruined Philadelphia’s attempt at a sweep and won 3-1.  It was “Little” Roy Oswalt’s return to the bigs after being absent more than six weeks.  He looked healthy, and his velocity was fine.  He just seemed a little rusty.  He let up twelve hits in six innings, getting himself into jams and working his way out of them.  Oswalt scored the Phils’ only run, and said, “It’s good to be on the field.  It’s good to be well again.” Though Philly suffered the loss, it is nice to have #44 back in the rotation.  The Phillies played a great series, and I hated to see it end on a Brian Wilson note. 

Here’s what the series means to me: the Giants aren’t the contender they might think they are.  We are 74-40 (34 games above .500).  San Francisco is 63-52 (11 games above .500).  I used to view them as a tough team to beat, but they’re hanging onto the lead in the West by a thread.  (Meanwhile, the Phils are up 8 ½ games over Atlanta in the East.)   I used to see San Francisco as just a team with terrible hair (facial and otherwise) and a bunch of girls’ first names.  Now, thanks to poor behavior and poor sportsmanship, I see them for what they are: a team with trashy players and a trashy fanbase.  This I know: we will be seeing Phillies baseball well into October.  If the Giants would like to join us in the postseason, they’ll need to get their act together.

Kendrick Records Only Win in Braves Series

By Amy McCormick

The Braves came into town on Friday, May 6 for a three game series in Philadelphia.  That evening, we saw Cliff Lee strike out sixteen – breaking his own record – and still get the loss.  How does that happen?  He let up three runs in the third inning, but it was our offense that just couldn’t generate any runs.  The Phils didn’t record a hit until the bottom of the seventh when Shane Victorino hit a single to left field.  To add insult to the 5-0 injury, Placido Polanco ended up leaving the game early with an injured toe (x-rays were negative).  Atlanta’s Derek Lowe earned the win. 

Saturday night brought us Kyle Kendrick, filling in for Roy Oswalt, who is now on the DL.  I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t nervous about this start.  The funny thing is, Kendrick (with the help of JC Romero, Mike Stutes, Antonio Bastardo and Ryan Madson) recorded a win.  It wasn’t just a win; the Phils shut out Atlanta, 3-0.  It didn’t hurt that the Braves introduced rookie Julio Teheran, who was up past his bedtime and got pulled after 4 2/3 innings.  The series was now tied, 1-1. 

Sunday night, Mother’s Day, I attended the game.  I was beyond excited to see Hamels pitch, and I was ready for the Phils to salvage the series with another win.  We mothers didn’t get the gift we wanted.  Jair Jurrjens pitched 6 1/3 innings and allowed one run.  Atlanta had won seven of their last eight, and Philadelphia was just no match for them last night.  Alex Gonzalez, Freddie Freeman and Eric Hinske each homered, while the Phils stranded runners, grounded into double plays, and couldn’t produce.  Hamels ended his four game winning streak and is now 4-2. 

On a sidenote, Dan Uggla’s little sister would like her jersey back.

What worries me about this disappointing series is that the Phils will soon be facing far better teams on a long road trip.  Offense needs to pull itself together in a hurry, because the Phils are losing games in which their pitchers are striking out double digits.  No pressure, Utley, but we could use you up here.