Ten Musical Suggestions

By Amy McCormick

This five game losing streak is a depressing slump for Phillies fans.  Maybe it’s time to change some of the players’ intro songs in order to get their mojo back.  Here are ten of my suggestions. 

1. Jimmy Rollins.  Jimmy has three at-bat songs, apparently; they are “Bright Lights, Bigger City” by Cee-lo Green, “Play Your Part” by Wale, and “The Show Goes On” by Lupo Fiasco.  They’re all decent choices, but I would love to hear J-Roll come out to “Rollout” by Ludacris.  I think the reasoning behind my choice is obvious.
2. Placido Polanco.  Polly left the club years ago, and returned as a third baseman.  He came back with outstanding range of motion, instincts, and batting.  For my favorite large-headed infielder, I’d choose “Look at Me Now” by Lil Boosie and Big Head. (His current song is “I Know You Want Me” by Pitbull.)
3. Shane Victorino.  It bothers me every single time I hear “Buffalo Soldier” played at Citizens Bank Park, and for one reason: Vic is Hawaiin.  “Buffalo Soldier” is performed by Bob Marley … from Jamaica.  It’s not even the same ocean, people.  I’m a sucker for “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” by Israel Kamakawiwo’ole. I know it’s kind of mellow, but so is “Buffalo Soldier.”
4. Hunter Pence.  I was so tempted to pick something from New Kids on the Block, but I resisted.  When I think of Pence, I think of three things: “Good game, let’s go eat,” a huge kid-in-a-candy-store grin, and red socks that look as though they’re probably tucked into his underwear.  I love the high socks, so I went with “Taylor Gang” by Wiz Khalifa. 
5. Ryan Madson.  Can we discuss the Journey song, please? From my understanding, it started as a joke, in reference to the headache-inducing YouTube video that Giants fans made last year.  Joke’s over.  Now you just look like a pansy running from the bullpen to a Journey song.  I’d quickly change it to “Shut ‘Em Down” by Public Enemy.
6. Carlos Ruiz.  Chooch has a case of Ryan Madsonitis when it comes to song choice.  Phil Collins? Really?  I’d get rid of that in a hurry.  I’d rather hear Ruiz come out to “Panama” by Van Halen … because he’s from Panama.  See what I did there?
7. Cole Hamels.  I couldn’t think of any songs about having dreamy dimples, so I think he should come out to 45,000 fans singing “Cole and Amy sittin’ in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g …”.  His AC/DC song, “Thunderstruck,” is fine, too … I guess.
8. John Mayberry, Jr.  Follow me on this one.  Out of laziness/cuteness, I have always called Mayberry “JMJ.” I started to refer to him as “Jam Master Jay” because that’s what my friend James calls him.  That nickname is the reason I’d choose “My Adidas” by Run DMC for John Mayberry, Jr.
9. Pete Orr.  I know we rarely see Orr bat, but I’m a big fan of watching him sprint to first.  I’d love to hear the vintage version of the theme to “Speed Racer” when he is up to bat.
10. Michael Schwimer.  I think it would be appropriate to hear “Creep” by Radiohead when Schwimer runs out to the mound, for one reason: the lyric “I don’t belong here.” Sorry, kid.

I don’t know what it will take to snap this funk that the Phils are in.  Maybe hiring me as Musical Director at Citizens Bank Park would help.  I’m available to start immediately.



Cole Hamels is pictured in this post because, well, I get to choose what goes here.



Yankees' Thunder Stolen ... Again

Hurricane Irene's projected path

By Amy McCormick

Hurricane Irene is expected to unleash her wrath on the East Coast this weekend.  Because the storm's path looks as though it will follow the I-95 corridor, the Phillies-Marlins game on Sunday has been preponed.  There will be a day/night double header on Saturday at CBP, weather permitting. 

It's no mystery why my Facebook feed has gone from earthquake frenzy to hurricane madness.  Funny that the Yankees' 22-9 victory over Oakland didn't come up in conversation at all today.  (Phillies were the last team to score 22 runs in one game, in 2009.)  Martin, Cano and Granderson each hit a grand slam in the Bronx today - an MLB record - and no one seems to have noticed.  Why is that? Just recently, my Facebook was flooded with Jim Thome excitement - just seconds after he hit his 600th home run.  (I am certain that I am friends with just one Twins fan, by the way.)  Well, why no talk of the Yankees today?

Oh, right.  Because nobody cares.

Remember the Sports Illustrated cover last month, featuring a larger-than-life Carlos Ruiz? It was released a few days after Derek Jeter's 3,000th hit.  If you squint, you can see a tiny mention of DJ in the upper left corner.  It still makes me laugh ...

LOLMets

By Amy McCormick

We fans really needed to see the Phils destroy the Mets tonight, after the weekend we had.  What a bizarre weekend it was at CBP South!  Rain delays, two consecutive “starts” for Oswalt, and an uncharacteristic few days for the bullpen seemed to throw the Phils for a loop.  While I was impressed (relieved, excited, I could go on) by Oswalt’s outing on Saturday, it seems that his performance was the only highlight of the series.  Well, that and Schwimer’s debut.  Phils lost the series.  To the Nationals.  Seriously.  During the rain delay on Sunday, I joked that I would write a post titled “Mother Nature Interrupts Halladay Beating Wang; He’s Unable to Finish.” I was too depressed by the end of the game to even bother.

So, what’s a team to do after such a series? How do the Phils get their mojo back?  What’s a good pick-me-up for players and fans alike?

Beat up on the Mets.  Duh.

And did they ever.  Cliff Lee records his 14^th win of the season and the Phils are now 82-44.  We saw homers from Pence and Mayberry, a triple from Vic, and a double from Chooch.  Phils win, 10-0.  If it had been a Little League game, it would have been called after six innings.  There’s no mercy in the bigs, though … not even for the Mets.  Ricky Bo said after tonight’s game, “This is what the Phillies should have been doing to the Washington Nationals.” True.  One thing (of many) that I love about our team, though, is the ability to shake it off and put a bad game behind them.

We’ll see New York again tomorrow night at 7:05.  It just doesn’t get old for me.  LOLMets.

Utley Won't Save This Offense

By Amy McCormick

The Phillies have the best record in Major League Baseball.  They’re currently 24-12; the Marlins trail by three games in the NL East.  Don’t celebrate just yet.  The Phils also only have 34 extra-base hits with runners on, a slugging percentage that is on the decline, and 156 runs scored (fourteenth in all of baseball).  Where is the offense?

I, for one, am tired of seeing ground balls hit into double plays, runners stranded, and batters swinging at garbage (I’m talking to you, Wilson Valdez.  You were swinging in the dirt last night).  It’s hard to complain when Philadelphia boasts MLB’s best win-loss record, but I’ll do it anyway.  Why?   The NL East may not offer huge competition, but I have a feeling that St. Louis, Cincinnati, Texas and Colorado – all upcoming opponents – will produce better offense.  Aside from the Rockies, each of those teams has scored more runs this season than the Phillies. 

So, what’s the solution?  Please tell me you don’t think Chase Utley will single-handedly save this lineup. 

Utley has begun his rehab and is playing decently well in Clearwater; we hope to see him return to the Phils this month.  That’s fantastic news.  Of course we want our All-Star second baseman back from his long absence.  Will it be enough to turn the offense around?  Doubtful. 

What’s the answer, then?  Fire Greg Gross and send him to hang out with Milt Thompson?  Switch the batting order?  Purchase new batting gloves?  Come on, Charlie.  It’s not rocket science.  These players are perfectly capable of getting on base and sending one another home to score.  I think Manuel is a little too laissez-faire with his players; I’m not asking him to micromanage them, but when the bats are coming up short, it ultimately falls on him.  The Phils’ lineup needs to be held accountable.  Manuel wants the best team possible – pitching, batting and fielding.  He needs to start demanding it and expecting it. 

Surely, the return of Utley (and Ruiz, I haven’t forgotten about him) should improve production.  I just don’t think it’s wise to expect Chase to swoop in and save the day.  I’m sure some of you think that I have no right to complain, since Philadelphia’s winning record is better than the rest of Major League Baseball.  Well, if we want the best overall team, then pitching isn’t going to cut it.  We all saw Cliff Lee strike out sixteen and still get the loss, yes?  Run support is crucial.  I’m excited that Chase is on his way back, and I’m sure he’ll contribute … but he’s not Superman.  I don’t like seeing a perfectly capable lineup coming up short. 

What did they tell us all back in little league?  Everybody hits. 

Good News, Bad News

By Amy McCormick

The good news … The Phillies pulled off an 8-4 victory over Arizona this afternoon, giving Cole Hamels his third win of the season.  The Phils’ offense woke up for the final game of the series.  Rollins, Victorino and Howard each homered and Francisco and Polanco each doubled.  After two dismal losses to the Diamondbacks, it was nice to see some of the bats wake up.

The bad news … Today, the Phillies announced that ace pitcher Roy Oswalt will be leaving for his home in Mississippi to tend to personal matters.  When the news came out, a reason wasn’t really given, and the timeline is still indefinite. 

On Tuesday night, Oswalt pitched three innings against the Arizona Diamondbacks and left the clubhouse well before the game’s end.  We fans assumed that he was just having an off night; at the time, we didn’t know what was weighing on his mind.

About a year ago, Oswalt’s parents’ Mississippi home was destroyed by storms.  With the recent tornadoes near his home, our #3 starter chose to go home to ensure that his wife and children were safe.  Ruben Amaro, Jr. announced that the Phillies organization hopes to have Oswalt back before his next start but admits that they will continue to “take that day by day.”  We’ll continue to keep Roy Oswalt and his family in our thoughts.

In unrelated news, Carlos Ruiz left during the first inning today with lower back pain.  While this doesn’t sound serious, when asked if he was concerned, Ruiz answered, “Yeah.”  He is scheduled to visit a doctor tomorrow, and we’ll know more then.  Brian Schneider filled in this afternoon, and will likely do so if Chooch needs to miss any more  playing time.

Hopefully, our team will be intact and healthy by mid-May, when we’ll oppose the Cardinals, the Rockies, the Rangers and the Reds in the span of eleven days.  Fingers crossed.