I Implore You ...

By Amy McCormick

As Phillies fans, we love to spend time at Citizens Bank Park.  To me, it’s better than Disneyland.  It’s my happy place.  In order to keep it that way (and let’s face it – if I’m not happy, no one’s happy), I implore you to follow a few basic rules if you plan to sit anywhere near me at a game.

The Star Spangled Banner.  The Phillies organization usually does a pretty good job of inviting talented singers to sing the anthem before the start of the game.  If you were asked in school to be a “listener” during chorus, please do not sing along.  Just remove your hat, put your hand on your heart, and listen.

Going To and From Your Seat.  This is a huge pet peeve of mine.  Staff should not allow you to re-enter your section until a play is complete.  That is to say, wait until it’s between batters.  The same goes for getting up to go to the bathroom or to get food.  I’d actually prefer if you’d wait until the middle or end of an inning.

Umbrellas.  In the event of a slight drizzle or even a rain delay, I’ll give you two choices: grow a set and relax, because it’s just water, or go stand where you can stay dry.  Umbrellas obstruct others’ view.  It’s rude, and to be honest, you kind of look like a pansy.

Talking.  There are several points I need to make here.  Please do not have loud conversations about non-baseball related topics.  I don’t care what’s on sale at Acme, who’s taking whom to Homecoming, or how much your new kitchen floor will cost.  On the flipside, don’t be a know-it-all.  You know the type: he thinks he could do a better job at shortstop than Jimmy and has something to say about every single play.  Last, but not least, never mention to me that I know “a lot about baseball for being a girl.”

Catching a Ball.   If I were lucky enough to catch a ball, I’d do one of a few things, and I invite you to do the same.  If it were a foul ball, or a Phillies homerun, I’d hand the ball over to a nearby child.  If it were a visitor’s homerun, I’d throw it back on the field, because I’m just that obnoxious. Chances are, if you don’t do the same, you will be booed by many fans (myself included).

Joking About Rushing the Field.  If I hear one more person say, “Do you think I’d get tasered if I ran out onto the field right now?” I might scream.  You know you’re not running onto the field.  And chances are, there’s an off-duty police officer sitting in your section who would be happy to accommodate you anyway.

Drinking.   I would be a huge liar if I said that I didn’t drink at Phils games.  I want you to have a great time at CBP and drink and enjoy your experience.  Please know your limits, people.  No one wants to hang out with someone who is falling-down, sloppy drunk.  No one.

I don’t ask much.  We all pay good money to watch a game and enjoy all that Citizens Bank Park has to offer.  I simply request that you not act like a jerk while you’re there. It will be an enjoyable evening for everyone if you follow a few simple guidelines.  Enjoy your time at the stadium and cheer as loudly as you can for the Phillies!